Every person was born as a complete being, one whole person, no more and no less. When we got into relationship, often people will give part of them away to our partner, expecting him/her to give us back part of them to make us feel complete. This kind of relationship is very fragile; when the other party decided to quit the game of love, we will be left with part of us missing and thus make us upset and unhappy a.k.a broken heart-ed. But how can we play it right? No one goes into a relationship expecting to be left behind right, so which is why we give part of us as a symbol of trust. While this was a common thought, I received a very nice saying from a dear friend; this is my interpretation on what she said:
When we are in a relationship, we should not give a part of us away to the other guy. We should keep ourselves whole hence we stay as independent person in relationship. Sound a little bit self-centered and contradicting the relationship idea, but here is my favorite part;
Exact wordings: when we are in relationship we should share part of us, not give it away and thus we stayed as a whole (translated from French)
My interpretation: when we are in relationship, we need to combine ourselves to make value, and share that value together, we should make ourselves more than a whole such that when the relationship fall apart, we become no less than we were before, actually we should have more due to the value added from the relationship.
I have never been in a relationship before but when I heard my friend told me about this, I really think that this is worth sharing. Relationship failure is one of the major reason of depression (see Wikipedia) and often lead to psychological disease or even suicide cases. Of course one might say that just talk is easy, but to the action which count; how to do it? My friend answered it like this: take a step back, look at your relationship case from third person point of view, try to give yourself advice as a spectator because it is all about perspective. If you can draw yourself away from emotional attachment to your problem, you will know the wisest way to encounter the problem and solve it. I found this is useful not only in relationship context but in generally every problem. Hard but not impossible, practice makes perfect.
Last but not least, though she mentioned it at the very beginning. Your happiness should come from yourself internally, you should not expect external factor to help you to be happy.
Dear Mélyssaa, if you ever read this, I hope I get your meaning correctly. Nevertheless, as I told you, this is a very nice advice and I really hope that this will help someone out there. I would like to elaborate longer but I think that should wait until I experienced it first handed. Thank you so much tho!
Featuring: Mint na Bokura manga by Wataru Yoshizumi. Love and learn :3