Disgraceful Job? Think Again

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Screen captured from To Sell is Human page 144 sample Kindle book on 29 August 2017. All rights reserved.

In the process of job seeking I came across with job stereotyping. While sure enough some jobs sound more spectacular, require more skills and bear additional responsibilities, I believe it is not a reason to underestimate other occupations, especially as a fresh graduate. To be fair, if there are peers who got accepted as a traders in prestigious investment firm or researchers, of course we (or actually me) will say “WOW”. But if other peers were to say they got a job as clerk, sales or even HR, most people will frown, give an awkward smile and say “ah… good”.

Like majority of people, I don’t fancy those roles. I used to be those who frowned when I heard the word sales, and honestly never ever want to be associated with that word ever. That was my feeling before. Quite recently, I started to think more about it and somehow it dawned to me that I must have been wrong. All my life I have this terrible stereotype on this profession (you know they force you to buy things) but I realized I was not thinking very openly. Forced selling (such as foot-in-the-door) is so yesterday and it is just a very small thing of sales. Honestly, every business can only sustain if they can sell. Either the products and services are so good and useful thus people will buy it voluntarily, or that you are so good and able to convinced the public to buy things/services they actually might not need. Dig deeper, sales should also be associated to the event when entrepreneurs pitch their ideas to investors, to the social events where there are implicit connections sales a.k.a building connection, interviews (selling one’s qualification), even as a wife convincing the husband to buy her a Zara dress (selling reason) and many more. Selling is what we do everyday and it is not a shameful thing. IB traders is useless when there is no demand in their services, selling is arguably the core of the business. I hope by now you are at least a little convinced of the importance of sales job and how it had been underestimated all these years. So now the important question is how good are you at selling? I believe how far one can take their selling ability will be one of the success measure to which extend he/she  or me will succeed in life.

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Retrieved from Google on 29 August 2017. All rights reserved.

Apparently, I am not the only person that have this view, I have only read the sample chapter from Amazon but I will recommend it anyway for those interested: “To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others” – Daniel H. Pink (Amazon link). The sales approach is changing, less (if there is at all) catalogs and door to door sales, more technology implemented giving the exact suggestions to the right customer. The role of sales is shifting, not to force but to be creative such that they could successfully convinced the other party. This is one of the crucial skill needed by any CEO as well. So you might start as a small sales potato but I firmly believe that learning from it could bring really promising future.

Lastly, in the first paragraph I say not to underestimate any occupation. Sales is underrated but it is hardly the worse job, I mean, some people do choose to be in the field and there is professional terms for them as well. How about cleaning services, cashier? A lot of people never appreciate their doing and maybe even think they are filthy. But here is some evidence why low paying occupations are also important in a business. As you might have guessed I will say “can you imagine if no cleaning service to clean your firm’s toilet” or “imagine if there is no trash collector”, I believe you had imagined it (and maybe now you will say, “well I don’t need cashier because I can be charged online directly from the barcode”)  and yes they play roles there. But take a sit and think about this video

Try to look behind the citizens who are in crisis and waited hours to spend their money to supply their home. Try to think about the cashier officer on the end of that line, he/she cannot buy but have to be stand by there to serve others (and make sure the grocery was not raided), see the back officers who, in the middle of the heavy rain after big storm, came to work to provide others facilities. Then maybe take a look at this news titled: Japan’s Richest Village Can’t Find Workers for Its Factory. A business cannot work effectively and efficiently with only top management, they need people to do the small things too because a lot of small things will turn big in the end. That being said, the news of Elon Musk that fired (or not) his secretary after asking for salary raise. Whether he fired her or she decided to walk away, I cannot appreciate his way of treating her. If he thinks that her job is so easy that he can dispose her then shall he not say it so in the first place? Rather he decided to let her take a vacation while he showed the world he can do her and his job similarly well (I mean she has worked for him in the same position for 12 years). This is somehow more shameful than being fired right away because it is like saying that all those 12 years he was just tolerating her to be there and she added very little value to his company. But anyway, that is just my opinion. The third story is more personal, as the news had covered, typhoon Hato that hit Hong Kong and Macau recently left very bad taste in the city. The condition was terrible the day after the typhoon; trees, trashes, and every other things were scattered all over the place according to the footage. But amazingly, on my way to work the next day, the traffic in most places I passed are cleared and even the foot way have only several obstacles. The dirt of Hato still remains but only on the sides, places where it does not affect anyone. Meanwhile, I also saw the cleaning squad swept the road and clear it. I dare not to guess at what time the team started the cleaning such that the morning traffic went pretty smoothly but I guess there are people who don’t care as long as they can arrive to their office safely. I am too sometimes forget to appreciate their work, but I am trying my best to do a better job at it starting by giving a simple greetings~

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Why People are so Scared of Automation?

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Retrieved 31 July 2017 from Google. All rights reserved.

I am just one person so my opinion does not represent any population at all. This post is purely the fruit of my brief thoughts when I was asked if I am afraid that my future job will be looted by robot or not. At first, the idea seems scary because that means I will be unemployed and bored and poor and sad and die earlier – too exaggerated but somehow true. Then I think to myself, why will I be sad? I heard all bad things about working such as stress, harassment, not respected, etc. If I could not work, I should be happier and can have time for myself like what I am doing now; read books, learn language, meet people so on and so forth. Well, by now you might have an idea why people are scared of losing their expertise field to robot. The smaller possibility to earn money in the specific field we had spent most of our life before. No money means life will be harder due to restriction in movement, unable to but utilities and even worse incapability to fulfill daily needs. This is the critical point – MONEY.

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Retrieved 31 July 2017 from Google. All rights reserved.

I am not saying that without money, one cannot be happy but I believe that uncertainty due to financial incapability and absence of source of earnings will affect one’s life severely. Moreover, in today’s society money could be considered essential. With only money we can buy our necessities and rest assured; recent study even proved that money could actually buy even happiness (Whillans, et all,  2017). Also with automation, it is likely that it will increase inequality in the society, business owners for example will be better off while low class workers ended up in a worse condition. Why, of course because the business could reduce labor cost and pile up more revenue while the laid off people can just pack their bag and go home. Bill Gates had previously proposed a solution by taxing the robots (Fortune, 2017). This could be a good measure as the robot tax could be given back to the unfortunate by building more public facilities and give better social supports and securities.

But there is always but, tax is a very sensitive word to me. Earlier today I was discussing tax payment back in my country, which is still developing. Tax paid by the citizen arguably never come back around for the public good. We only observed that the more we pay tax the chubbier our politicians’ belly – if you get what I mean. The point here is, while imposing tax could be beneficial if is done right but since I am not a big fan of politicians, I am skeptical of its effects. At the moment I favor one governmental move which is the universal basic income.

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Retrieved 31 July 2017 from Google. All rights reserved.

This idea is still under experiment in couple European countries pioneered by the Finnish. It has shown both positive and negative effects. Apart from being controversial, it is very unfavorable to the government since it requires HUMONGOUS AMOUNT OF MONEY — imagine how much Chinese government have to provide even just for half of it 1.3 billion citizen? A lot. Anyway, I am sure that people up there will find a way to deny its usefulness or implement it with restrictive measure such that the country will not bankrupt. I am just saying from my dreamy understanding of the scheme, by having a basic income we would be able to life unconcerned of money and do more valuable things. While this exclude eating in Michelin restaurant everyday, buying luxury clothes and queuing for newest iPhone, I think I can live with it. There should be more sharing platform which can be access free publicly, including activities that add value such as library, sport teams, community services, etc. The main idea is there should be a system in which human could live without worry but did not end up stupid due to unavailable access to activities that add value. These people with basic income given to them should be able to utilize their knowledge to make a better environment and thus boost the quality of life around them. No one need to do things they hate just to survive and that they contribute to the best of their expertise. Helping other boost one’s happiness and induced kindness chain (Fowler, Christakis, 2009) research claimed. This really sound so dreamy and jut hope it might come true.

In the end, my answer of the main question: “Are you scared that robot will take over your job?”
Short answer: no.
Long answer: no, but I am afraid of the uncertainty that will follow from the time in which I will be unemployed due to automation. While currently I am sure that job take over will not happen since I am confident in my creative thinking and learn-ability (let be a little positive once in a while) but AI is developing fast and no one knows up to what degree will it evolves in the future. So I just hope that before that happen, the people up there have found the answer or give me a change to work it out i.g. employ me please?

HAHA hope you enjoy~

Inequality in the Contradictory World

At first glance inequality seems very negative and bad but all of these years, the society has failed to come into an agreement on this. While you might have guessed that people who rejected the claim tend to come from the upper social classes, but the important point is this group of people existed. While academics have recently shown how inequality affected the economy negatively, still some economists argue that inequality to a degree is needed as motivation to advance (The Economist, 2015). I personally believe that it might be true but still in process of finding the truth, if there any.

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Retrieved 31 July 2017 from The Economist. All rights reserved.

Here, I don’t want to babble on the hard core part of inequality. The introduction above purpose is just to give something to think about and maybe you would like to check my related post about Piketty. Anyway, in this post I want to share my opinion that perfect equality is impossible. I believe that nature is unfair; firstly all creatures were born unique. For human, some are stronger, some born genius, some talk faster so on and so forth. Not only one’s characteristics but also the environment they were born to; most people were born mediocre but a number of baby was born billionaire or royal. So this clearly shows different starting point. In nature, we know that some animals are stronger than others, some are smarter and they all have their kin’s ability, e.g. while lion is strong on land but they can’t beat jellyfish in the ocean or something like that. Having said so, I think forcing equality is just one of the political tool only. Being fake is part of human nature and we are very contradictory. Some examples apart from inequality above, most are from real encounter:

  • An animal activist who saw a cockroach and ordered to kill it without a second thought;
  • Justify eating pork, beef, chicken, etc. but disagree when other people kill dog for food.
  • Everyone who threw their unfinished food instead of bringing it home or give it away because don’t you know that you also need to eat the next day?

Anyway, I know I did not do a good job in this post. It is a little all over the place but my focal point is that achieving equality in the current world is near to impossible simply because nature was not made equal. The later part was just additional because I feel like sharing how contradictory people can be. If someone say they support equality, I feel that I will never fully trust their words.

Why I am not Vegan Yet?

Or at least vegetarian.

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Retrieved 26 July 2107 from Google. All rights reserved.

First you might want to take a look at this video by PETA and read some articles about human cruel treatment toward our-soon-to-be food. They are all I believe unpleasant and made me wonder why do I still eat meat. However, I was not really interested, I eat what was served and ignore the rest. From time to time I also came across discussion that justified meat eating culture (such as this one) and well I always try to be neutral. So why is that now I decided to write something about the topic? No idea, I just met a lot more vegan/vegetarian people these days and somehow started to sympathize the world of animals. Despite that previous claim, I am still neutral and will just present my reason of not turning vegan…yet.

1. My family make living from livestock
Honestly this is fundamental. At this time I cannot imagine myself as a vegan, it feels like I am betraying my family. Of course I don’t know how I will be in the future but at the moment, no.

2. I cannot afford the pricey vegan diet

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Retrieved 26 July 2017. All rights reserved.

It is not a secret that vegan lifestyle is arguably more expensive than omnivore. Especially if you are a student who don’t have access to kitchen, no salary and is living in the part of the world where the price of fruits and vegetables are more expensive than meat, I think you will understand how hard it is to turn vegan. This is a little exaggerated but my situation is more like be poor and starve to die or be less poor and eat meat; I chose the second. Maybe if I forced myself to squeeze in this price or vegan trade off I will be a junk food eater vegan and live out of these. Guess better not.

 

3. Food choice problem
I was a meat lover long ago but now I am more attracted to soy, beans, nuts, fruits, oats, so on and so forth so I should have no problem going vegan right? Apparently no. Apart from the cost I had mentioned in the previous point, I found it very hard for me to buy these products around where I live. Of course rice is always easy to find but I don’t really eat rice. Bread without egg or noodles without pork broth are rare, not to mention the trend of seemingly add cheese and butter to every dish. So while I don’t mind, actually adore vegan diet but it is just near to impossible to be one with my environment. If I can access tofu, tempeh, peanuts, cashew, almond and their nuts friends, fresh fruits and vegetables, mushrooms and algae easily (and affordably) I will be glad to leave those pile of meat.

4. Last but most important was from a vegetarian friend: never force yourself to give up meat
Basically she told me that to be a long lasting vegan/vegetarian, the urge must come from within naturally and not by force. I believe this is true because a study also mentioned when we are under restriction/limitation, we are more likely to be craving for that limited thing, in this case meat and that will caused unhappiness.

The reason why I wrote this post is not merely share my personal status but I would like to share a message to you readers. You might be omnivore or you might be vegetarian and even vegan. No matter which group you are in, please do show respect to one another. It is good to raise awareness of animal abuse but I feel that pushing the abuse faulty to consumer might not be best way. Arguably, no consumer then production should stop but there are other measure too. Maybe to urge the government to regulate farm to operate with more moral, though of course you can argue that just putting them in a cage is already a crime.

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Retrieved 26 July 2017 from Google. All rights reserved.

Another maybe less heard way is the principal of moderation. You know these days food portion has been larger than ever and people are eating so much more than needed. As I had posted before, the trend is crazy. People are cheering for 10 patties burger, 72 ounce steak (~2.041kg), giant burrito stuffed with BBQ meat, etc. If only people go back to the time where you just eat 70 gram (~2.5 ounces) red meat (source: nhs) then how much live stock will we already be saving despite still able to eat them? My point is that, rather than blaming people for eating meat at all, isn’t it better to questioned the amount of that people eat? Or maybe the amount of animals who were killed but ended up back in dumpster again because the serving size is way too much for one to consume?

This is my opinion and I know some of you disagree with me, I don’t mind. One thing to note, whether you support vegan or omnivore or in between, I would love to discuss the topic to understand it from different perspectives but let’s not make food become a topic that raise anger between us. Thank you 🙂

Inequality = Bad?

 

To follow up from the post of SHSS course I posted late last week, I would like to share some thoughts about one of my favorite topic; namely, wealth inequality.

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Retrieved from Google 17 July 2017. All rights reserved.

In 2014 after the English version of Capital in 21st Century by Thomas Piketty was published, wealth inequality once again became a popular topics among economists (Ted, 2014). While the focal point is nothing new – I believe everyone knows that the world is very unequal – but this book shows further comparison and the cruel realities of the current society in regard of wealth distribution. Piketty also stated some possible causes of increasing inequality, one key reason is r>g. Since I am here to share my opinion and not his thus I will not go too deep of the explanation of those variables. If you are interested but has low or no economic background, I recommend you to read this Ted summary or watch this khan academy video before actually attempt to read the book.

So is having wealth inequality (from here on: inequality) MUST be bad?
Being a little philosophical, nothing in the world is absolute thus the easy answer is no. But if you surf the net, consult the expert, ask people around you or just think about it deeper, inequality does sound really bad. This statement assumed that you are not from the upper class or you are a reasonable billionaire that could put yourself in the other’s shoes. Before judging me to be contradictory, let’s see why inequality is bad to the society based on T.M. Scanlon (2014);
1. Economic inequality can give wealthier people an unacceptable degree of control over the lives of others — I say power exploitation
2. Economic inequality can undermine the fairness of political institutions — I say money play in politics
3. Economic inequality undermines the fairness of the economic system itself — I saw social mobility being impede due to dirty politics
4. Workers, as participants in a scheme of cooperation that produces national income, have a claim to a fair share of what they have helped to produce. — A bit complex to me, but seems like equal profit sharing is the workers’ rights.
Looking from just these four very reasonable concerns, once again inequality really does cause damaged. But when I looked at them deeper, all of the points above were the result of the rich exploitation and people’s greediness/unwillingness to share. To get a better understanding, I read some papers of this issue and there is this research where it argued that “some level of inequality is necessary in a modern economy” (OECD, 2014), and another history book argued being strictly equal could impede economic growth for example China in 1930s to 1940s. Summing up all the research results and analysis, I believe that this negativity of inequality originated from society that on the top of having high level of inequality also allowed money talk. Conclusion first, just like almost everything in the world, inequality in good up to some degree and when it passed beyond this level – and become too unequal – problem arise. The unfavorable outcomes especially amplified in the society that favor money.

Disclaimer: This is my own argument with no proof or data (yet!), just following my logic and limited readings.

So up until here, I put a lot of other people’s arguments but from here on I am going philosophical.

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Retrieved from Google 17 July 2017. All rights reserved.

All humans were born unique, meaning we have different physical attributes, different personality and interest and different family situation. Everyone has their own problems and ways to solve them. Our talent different to one another and even our life time ticking in different speed on the different clock. There is always sky above a sky but all of them are sky: you always find couple people above you and above them and above them but in the end you can be anywhere because by nature you are the same. A group of people are luckier than another, another handful have more opportunities than the rest. But the rest might strive on their one and only chance by hard work and persistence. You might think that you work more than the others but the others might also think the same way. So in the end, the society is never equal and fair because the one who initiate the change will create their own fate while the left-over people will stuck in a place where they could only moan on their unfortunate live.

 

Moving on, Piketty’s argument of capital as the driver of inequality is so logical. If your parents are rich then you might be better off and maybe become richer. However, this does not mean that it is totally unfair. Their parents work very hard to save all the wealth they have to pass it on to their children, it is not like they actually had a gold tree from God thus they became rich. Discarding those who attained their wealth with dishonesty, I believe that the rich also had worked hard to save more. If they happened to buy and sell property right before the market burst, etc then it is their luck. Also, not every rich people give their fortune to their kids (though rare) and not every kids could maintain the wealth and social status the received (more common), so it is just part of how the world work. For those who pile their wealth dishonestly which correlate with the second point from Piketty where CEOs pushed their salary way beyond the bar and piled up property that later might be handed down to their offspring, frankly nothing can be said from this, it’s just there are evil and greed, balance of the world. Yin and Yang.

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Retrieved from Google 17 July 2017. All rights reserved.

In conclusion, inequality is part of the nature, good or bad, one should just embrace it and do our best to strive despite the initial situation. Then their attitude will be tested once their succeeded, if they are willing to share, utilize the power they have for good, then the society will improve together and have a healthy level of inequality. But if they are corrupt, then it is up to those who want to change the situation to take actions.
Lastly, despite everything I mentioned, I must admit that the inequality level in the current society has way passed beyond the bar and it is bad. However, here I want to relay that inequality itself is not better or worse than being equal but how the society; especially the rich and powerful group, cope with the situation is the key.

Shout Out for Change

I will start by concluding my post: Indonesia is getting worse day by day.

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Retrieved from Google 21 June 2017. All rights reserved.

It is not that I have any grudge against the country but this just too ridiculous and shameful. First of all, I think the world know pretty well about the Indonesian governor, Ahok, who was accused for blasphemy and got two years period of imprisonment. While I read everything from the news so I cannot be 100% sure but here is how I see it. I believe that as soon as his unfavorable comment was said, he was accused for blasphemy right away. The case went to the court and he was called for trial, a lot of march against him and Christian in general. The case was rather lengthy due to time clash with the capital governor’s election. Anyway, the funny thing was, right after he lost the election, he was announced guilty and sentenced for two years in jail. I don’t know him, I am not his supporter or whatsoever, so I kind of in a neutral position but even from this perspective, I can see rotten play in this case as described by the New York Times. I am no lawyer but since I am pretty familiar with money power in Indonesia, I am pretty confident to say there is something more than just blasphemy behind the conviction of this governor. This first issue, you might think, Indonesia is ok, this happened everywhere because this is just how politics role. I agree so lets proceed.

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Retrieved from Google 21 June 2017. All rights reserved.

Second highlighter point is; muslimisation of the country. As a country with the biggest muslim population, it has always been a goal for some interest group to make the country an islam country but after the blasphemy case, it just got worse. More than a few groups expressed their desire to change Indonesia to an Islam country, the most recent was this university group (the article is in Indonesian but Google translation pretty much capture the right meaning). Once again, since I am not living there nor do I want to stay there in the future (if possible) thus once again, I am trying to look at things from a neutral perspective. There was a viral response to the previous video of university oath which showed the reactions from the veteran who fought for the independence of Indonesia, their responses were heart-breaking to me, as you know, I am sensitive. But knowing their history and their current condition and their disappointed faces, it just a little too much…
Moving on, still about muslimisation, the biggest interest group to this rally in Indonesia is Front Pembela Islam (FPI). They are the people who claimed to represent the islam in the country, not that I ever believe in representation but anyway, I ain’t muslim so I don’t really understand their practice but the attitude of people in this group were terrible. The most recent issue including the head of FPI charged to pornography crime, and FPI asked children to accompany a march against Ahok while shouting ‘Kill him, kill him’, read through BBC. Is this how religious people should act like? Oh BTW, FPI head reported fled to Saudi Arabia and claimed to never come back…
Moreover, analyzing their actions through Google, nothing nice ever came up as far as I concern; actually more like criminal record, clashes with other group, a lot of political march, etc (source: Wikipedia, again it’s in Indonesian but since the sentences are short, Google translate is enough). Last point in this topic, as long as I could remember, the crime rate in Indonesia has always reported increase in the period near Ramadhan. Again, not sure about the practice but do you think you can do bad things and get forgiven after Ramadhan? I think that is too much to ask. I should highlight that I don’t despise islam, I believe that it is a good religion, not better or worse than other religions. It’s more of the people, they are persuasive but their way of doing is not correct to my standard, though looking at the trend, it’s leaning there. Indonesian, do you really want to be led there, that kind of Islam country? Doooomm…

Point three, about attitude. Earlier this week, the Indonesia Open 2017 was held in the capital. It is more like an international badminton match and has been a respectable event, well at least until couple days ago. Since badminton is one of the country’s best sport, it was no wonder that most of Indonesian teams reached top stage, including the male double. Last Saturday, they played Denmark’s pair Mathias Boe/Carsten Mogensen and lost fair and square. Nothing scandalous, except for the foul comments by the spectators which was disrespectful to the Denmark players, to be fair actually threatening remarks. When I saw it, I felt so shameful. Even though it was a home play but I felt sport world should be at least respectful. If you want all Indonesia’s opponent to just ‘GO HOME’, then just don’t bother to invite them at all, this is stupid.
While I am not saying Indonesian have bad attitude, but they are just too easily get provoked by their surroundings. Around the world of course there are people like this, but there are just too much in this country. You can prove it by following Indonesian social media, most often in Twitter, whenever something came up then it will soon be a trending hashtag. Seldom people care of the truthfulness of the news and share it anyway just to show that they are up-to-date. I once read a report that Indonesia is one of the country in which social media user was the most gullible in the net, not sure where and honestly, I cannot find the page now, but I personally agree so I mentioned it here; apparently, some people also agree.

Okay, this seems like a pretty long post but with one conclusion: Indonesia is getting worse day by day. Though informally, everyone have to change, but this change needed a push, hard push. Let people understand what is Bhinneka Tunggal Ika and what is Negara Kesatuan Republik Indonesia should be. With all respect, do you think that this push could be initiate from the top, @Jokowi?
Thank you.

What About Now?

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Retrieved from Google.com on 5 June 2017. All rights reserved.

This morning when I swiped through my Instagram account, one of my friend posted a video on One Love Manchester concert. As has been announced, not only Ariana Grande but several other big names also performed as a tribute to the terror victims. I am not a kind of person who is interested with music concert or any of the artist’s fan, but I don’t know why I got the urge to watch it so I YouTube “tribute concert Manchester 2017” and just click on the first video with Ariana on the profile. It is actually the tribute speech by Ariana and I got this bitter feeling while listening to her, in which my tears actually fell. Then I try to find “Where is the Love” – Black Eyed Peas just because I know the lyrics pretty well, but hands up for them, they adjusted some fractions in the rap part to fit in the current world condition: terrorism. Moving on, “Don’t Look Back in Anger” and “Fix You” – Coldplay were also moved me to tears. I don’t know if I was just being too sentimental about everything but I am just feeling extremely sad. The concert I think lasted pretty long, at least from noon to night, and even though I have no relative of friends who are directly related to the incident, I really appreciate the tribute concert. There has been three attacks happened in the United Kingdom in the past three months, two in London, one in Manchester, so it must be hard for them to have calm and stable emotion, but STAY STRONG !

Then maybe because of the melancholic feeling, I decided to play one of my favorite song by Daughtry – “What About Now”. The song is 11 years old (I think) but this is the first time when I really want to pay attention to the video. Well, I found myself crying again because of this (It is a video of world’s condition with What About Now in the background music).

Image result for what about now daughtry before its too late
Retrieved from Google.com on 5 June 2017. All rights reserved.

Anyway peeps, I am not good with sad things neither with my words. But I just want to share the burden of this heavy feeling with whoever I reading (or maybe just with

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Retrieved from Google.com on 5 June 2017. All rights reserved.

the internet world). Here is a random word scribbles about how I feel this morning:

“Sometimes, even when nothing happened,
without any cause,
I just feel sad.
No explanation thus no remedy,
I want to cry, but I don’t know why.
Might be the sadness accumulated inside,
might be just a spur moment of agony,
But the heavy feeling inside is exhausting”